Life after death...and taxes

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24

That was Jesus' own words to his disciples, to carry their cross and die to themselves for the Lord's will. Yet the image today is more of the mini comic above. We're carrying our cross but can't quite carry the load, or rather we're not wanting to. Because we do just enough to get into heaven right? How much is that? How much of yourself have you died to? How much of your own will remains? Sure, the cross is salvation, it is love but its something else: death.

It is where Christ died and took sin and defeated it, all for love and the Father's will. Even Christ was like "Hey Dad, if there is anyway we could go about doing this another way, I'd like that but regardless I am here to do your Will and not mine." There's the kicker. I don't think we ever really take into consideration the things we pray or read in the word. In fact, that verse from Matthew is one of my favorite verses and I remember reading it and how powerful it was and how much it changed me. And here it is years later, changing me again, because I forgot. I forgot what it truly meant.

I forgot about dying to myself, which surprisingly is a theme which has followed me for years, and I forgot what it meant to follow God. It is not for me, but for God that I live, that I obey His will. You always hear the term "sold out for Christ", well let me tell you Christ was sold out for God 100%. Despite knowing and seeing what was coming He still said "Let your Will be done." Now, can you say that, 100%? I suppose that's what faith is all about. It's going forward with nothing but God's will in mind. Is that truly what it is to die to myself?

I think, to sum it up, it's all or nothing. Isn't it? So which is it for you? All, or nothing?

Dying Alone

I always would see people posting things like status updates, or notes/blogs posts or even pictures with quotes about dying and how everyone dies and alone and I would always think of how depressing that was. I assumed they meant that no one would come see them in their last moments and they'd simply lie in a hospital bed or somewhere and just...die. No one with them to say good bye, no family to kiss, no loved ones to smile at as you pass, you're just alone.

But I realized what they did really mean. Its not that you're going to be passing out of this world and into the next alone in a room or something somewhere but that as you make that journey, you make it alone. Its like walking out of one room and into another (for the sake of argument imagine this) and suddenly you're in a new and different room and everyone is still in the other one. You made the trip alone to arrive at your destination.

Ghosts

What is it about night time that drags up past memories? The memories I would prefer not to remember than anything and yet there they are. They all attack me, coming in waves and leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. Usually its a memory or something I though might have happened in the future between an ex and I and it just becomes something I bang my head against the wall to. I mean they're all (as far as I know) happy and carrying on with their own lives so why do they have to still plague my brain? This is me assuming of I don't pass through their minds but yeah. I dunno. It just sucks and makes for a stupid night. Bleh.