Letting Go

Today in church our guest speaker spoke about letting something go that we had desired in our life above our desires of Christ. For me, this was my desire for a relationship and marriage. In recent weeks with the birth of my third great niece, and birth of my friends first child, its made me think of marriage and starting a family more and more. I think of what I might have in the future and that excites me. But in reality i think I'v been using my obedience to Christ as a means to an end. The end being me being married and in a relationship.

I know in Christ I am to be filled, and made whole but…there's parts I haven't fully given over in my heart. One of them being my belief that the Lord will send a person to me who'll fix me. This person will be everything I want and need in order to be whole and full. But that belief is being torn down slowly. Especially after today with giving it up. AFter the service I was reminded of this:

You don’t need to be married to be fulfilled. Don’t make an idol out of your dream. Your identity is found in Christ, not a ring, a wedding, and romanticism. If it’s going to happen, God will make it happen. If it doesn’t happen, then God made that so. Either way, you’re cool and in the Hands of your Maker. 

And now here I am staring at my screen thinking to myself "what now?". Because I am a hopeless romantic. I am in love with love and the things of love. the warm fuzzes, the romantic gestures, the dreams of a wedding, and an eternal life together making it all work, day by day. Yet now I've decided to give that up to say to God: "Lord, let you be the pinnacle, the peak, the only high point and entirety of my life!" Now I make it so that I strive to attain the truth:

Matthew 22:36-40New International Version (NIV)

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Now I learn to be content, to be whole, happy and complete in Christ. Now I seek Him, to complete me. I don't know whether or not I'll ever get married or have children but I put it all in God's hands and rely on Him.