Here

Here you are, Robert. You stupid, full of fear, cowardly, lazy, no good bastard. Remember when you received praise and they lauded you as "gifted"? Well, where did all that get you? You're a coward, lazy and a disappointment. Got kicked out of school, too lazy and selfish to help when you should've helped. Full of arrogance and pride, you really screwed the pooch on your life, didn't you? Now here you are standing at the edge of needing to be a real adult and you're cowering in fear. Jump. YOU NEED TO MOVE. You can't just keep ignoring the monsters waiting for you. The longer you do, the worse it gets. You need to get up and do what you have to do. You need to change. Well? get up and get going!

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

-Benjamin Franklin 

It All Comes Tumbling Down

Time flies, life goes on. A funny thing to say before I...before I write this. No, not funny just ironic I suppose. I might as well get to it. My oldest brother is going to die. It's a weird thing to write and in writing, it becomes truer. A sort of confession that I understand what is happening, whether I want it to or not. He's been sick for the past several months, since February. I want to in some way blame myself but that's not the truth. I tried to tell him to change his diet, to not end up like Dad or worse but here it is now, my fears come true. Life goes on but it won't for him. And I wish it did, God I wish it did. I can't think of anything to say, he's essentially on life support and hasn't woken up in some time. If I had a day what would I say? I don't think there's anything I would. I'd just want to hear his voice, or a joke or some of his teasing. Just to know he was home. I don't think I can write any more now I think this all I wanted to say, to put it all in order.

I guess this is it. I have to say goodbye to you soon. I wish I didn't. I wish you could still be here like you were when I was in 5th grade and you used to walk me home from school sometimes. But it can't be and it's not. This is here and now. God, I am going to miss you.

Bye. David. I love you.

You were supposed to come home. I wish you'd come home.