Nice Guys Finish Last part 1

I wrote this a while back when one day I thought to myself "nice guys finish last". I used to really believe that because I never got my way and it always seemed like girls would chase down the guys that hurt them in the end. I had complained that my good nature would interest girls but never attract them. But then my mind came up with an interesting way to process this. I thought "is being nice really so bad?".

Granted that some of the real jerks of the world do get the girl you might want but think about it would you really want to be like that person? I mean yes he may have something she see's but honestly you can see that he doesn't exactly have the most positive qualities. Would you abandon your own self to be like him just for the sake of someone else? Sure, you might not get that girl today but that doesn't mean the right one won't show up tomorrow.

I was so focused on relationships, and getting married I disregarded a whole lot of things. I never sat down and thought maybe that cute girl sitting on the other side of the class wasn't for me or she just might not be the one right now. But after a few failed relationships and heart breaks and failures I learned to not jump ahead of myself and go off the deep end. I am who i am and changing that just to be able to go out and get someone (unless honestly it was a change for the better but that is up to interpretation to each person) is foolish. If i am happy with who I am.

Life again

It has been a while since I have written, life has been busy thus far. Where to begin? Well one thing is that my brother who was sick in the hospital has returned home, the doctors finally fixing his blood pressure and being able to release him. Its good to have him back home and helping again so it makes waking up at 5 in the morning every day almost more bearable. Almost. And lo and behold we were also graced by that oh so wonderful day, Valentines day. At being single for two years now it is of course not something to look forward to though it was luckily not as bad as I had feared since I was distracted most of the day by Jury Duty. Yes thats right I had jury duty on Valentines Day.

It wasn't all that bad, we got onto a break right after getting there pretty much though after the break I was one of many chosen for a jury. Then I spent the next 3 hours waiting outside in a hallway, waiting to see if I would be picked. That's when we were called in and for 5 minutes explained that we would be coming back the next day. Lame right? Yeah so we came back and the short story is I was not picked. I did however meet a nice guy there who was a former youth pastor and was totally blessed by our discussion outside before we both left. Its the small things in life.

Other than that not much has occurred, its been slow and i enjoy this as going through trials is no picnic but it does help strengthen me, I won't deny that. Though interestingly enough it seems I have a new profession as the Love Doc seeing how in one night I received news that a friend of mine ended his relationship, another friend discussed his interest in a girl and another friend called and talked to me for almost 2 hours about a girl he can't get out of his head and is still thinking of what to do with. All in all I was surprised to be dealing with so many relationships and their issue while I have been single for 2 years now. Strange. Oh well.

Last Night I dreamt Somebody Loved Me

So with recent events I have seen myself grow some more. I find myself to be quite sick at the moment, catching the first cold of the year and I now realize something. As an adult the world doesn't stop for you if you're sick. You have to take care of yourself and still manage your own responsibilities. It isn't like in High School where you can stay home and make up the work, nope you gotta get up and keep on trucking till you can get rest and medicate yourself. Which is what I have been trying to do (this is new to me and even harder as I lack any energy or feeling wellness to strive) through out these past few days. Got a paper due? Do it. Need to pick up the child from bus stop? Power through it. This is extremely lame and tedious but it is good for me to learn.

Despite all of these things I feel that I am falling back into the same old song and dance as before with being lazy and so I feel as though I should keep myself busy somehow. Probably by staying ahead of my work load which would be immensely helpful to myself at this point. Ah and if you are wondering why I picked the title it was because as I am sick I am having a hard time distinguishing my dreams form reality and remembering which actually happened. So the title is dedicated to my dream which is self explanatory when you read it.