I read that line on a Christian tumblr while exploring and my first thought was "Oh no." Why? Because it was as if God was asking me himself. Asking for me to explain the deepest darkest fears and parts of me to Him. To admit, to say, I've been hurt. The disappointments, the hurt, the pain of words said and the words unsaid. I have to admit there are moment sin my life where those I love have hurt me so badly emotionally, that...there's just scars. I mean I always ask the question "how can people, who claim to love each other and one another, act this way?" It doesn't make sense to me. Do I have high expectations of the love for family and friends that's supposed to be there?
I think its because I believe that when people profess God, they should try, no they should love like God. Forgive and forget and live life. Life is too short for fights, for anger and being mad and losing friends. But people sadly aren't like that. Angry words are spoken. Hurtful things are said and done and it leaves scars. I try and find someone to take that pain away or to help make it leave for a while. But even then I remind myself to give it all to God. That he is the one there that love's me, cares for me even when I'm ignoring him.
I imagine it as god is standing there as i look to the horizon for something or someone to catch my attention and make me happy for a short while, or make my heart strings flutter. All the while God stands in the background patiently waiting for me, each and every time for me to just give all that I am to him. God has always been there for us, we just don't notice Him. This isn't like other blog entries where I come to a conclusion or something but rather this is something i already know and I have to work on. Maybe I am hurt because so many have hurt me, maybe I am just carrying around these scars on my heart. Whatever it is I need to, and will with time give it all to God. And a daily reminder that in no one or anything can I find the love that God has.
No comments:
Post a Comment