I'm a very nostalgic person. I think about the past a lot and the way those moments in the past made me feel and make me feel today. Old stores that are now gone, walking to school and back, what it was like seeing people's faces every day at school, AOL messenger, things like that. Nostalgic things. Because of this, I've found it hard to let things go and keep old notes, reminders, and the like to always remember. Until recently that is. I've been cleaning my room up and I've been getting rid of things that I held onto for years for fond memories. Some of it is just plain junk that simply reminds me of where it came from. "Oh, this wheel came off a broken dollar store scooter that a friend gave me!" Yeah like that.
It's frankly amazing now that I think of it and say these things out loud. A lot of the memories are still there and I can recall them so clearly. There are other things though. The excitement I felt putting up my light strings in my room by myself one day and the ambience, learning to make blank CDs into masterpieces, just feelings and memories all intertwined in here!
But I think part of that held me back also. I was still that teenage kid sitting at his computer for hours doing nothing but now I mean come on I'm 31! I can't anymore! I have to grow up and change. Those things weren't bad but I was lingering for too long. I don't know who I'll be at the end of this journey. I think this is something like "me for years to come or permanently". But if I am a good man and I like who I am is that a bad thing? Guess time will tell.
I think this is my goodbye to all those things I threw away and placed into boxes for safekeeping. Part of me wants to leap up and dig it all back out. But I don't think that would be the answer. So I am putting it to rest. Here we go.
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