First year

Yes I see it on the horizon: Valentines day. And as I sit here I can't help but think back on all of the Valentine's Day's I've shared with people I can't help but feel empty. I try to think back, I really do on those romantic and special days but nothing. Why? Because it was always one sided. I don't think any of my past girlfriends have ever given me anything on Valentine's Day. Except maybe an empty wallet. Sure people try to say its a day when you pamper your sweetheart but I mean how hard is it to get something in return? A card? Some candy maybe? Anything! But no. I know we should appreciate the fact that our sweetheart is feeling al happy and special but guess what sometime we men want to feel appreciated too! I mean in truth I almost never received anything gift wise from a girlfriend. That would have been never except one girlfriend did give me a candle and another gave me a shirt and a pair of boots but still! That's it! Two separate occasions out of the 6 women I have dated. now with Valentine's Day approaching I can't help but feel lonely, sad, depressed. There is a lacking in me you know? A sort of unfulfilled portion of me. I think its also because I put myself out there, did something romantic for them and only to have it end in horrible, horrible fire. It sucks. I wish it didn't but it does. I feel this urge to go out and get a gf just for Valentine's Day but I know that would just go bad. Well first Valentine's day along might not be so bad once it passes. Guess we'll see.