You can't Always Get What you Want

No matter what. Sometimes it just doesn't turn out that way. No matter how many times you stomp your feet, shake your fist at the heavens, say how much you deserve something or someone and say it isn't fair. It just doesn't. It happens and you want to know something? It sucks and there's no way else to put it. The only consolation? In time, you might find, you get what you need.

A slight mix of randomness

To die would be an awfully big adventure. For which is it? We are leaving and yet arriving? Into that great mystery as the veil of life no longer shadows our eyes and a lot of greater mysteries are answered. For in your final moments you shall lay wide eyed and smile knowingly, saying to yourself "Why yes. I suppose that answer does make the most sense." And that children is when you will realize the meaning of life.

This little bit was provided to you by copious amounts of tea and my good friend Josh sending me a single text saying: "Death is but one more great adventure." THis then took me to two places. One is Peter Pan where I always heard a line saying "to die would be an awfully big adventure". This is form the live Peter Pan movie from back in 2003. The it took em to a random thought I had where I thought up of the irony of how when people die, in their last moments, they figure out the meaning of life. The Bible Verse is when I figured out what the meaning of life is. Giving it all to God because if God is supposed to be your life then that makes Him the meaning of life. All life.

Matthew 22: 37-40 :³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[c] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

A small thought

I came up with an interesting question in my head that perplexes me. When it comes to a relationship, how much do you tell the other person of your experiences in relationships before them? I mean is a ground rule set down not to talk about it? If you do talk about it what should you say and what should you leave out? If you leave it out and you betraying your boyfriend or girlfriends trust? Are you not being fully honest? Do I have to tell the time I was suspended from school for making out with a girl under a table? Is that mandatory? How about admitting that I am still friends with a few of the girls I was crazy about? I am unsure how much should be let known and what shouldn't? Is it deal with it as it comes or all at once? What would you say, or do? My friends who I asked actually had a conversation with a young woman about this very thing.

"I was talking to my friend about this very idea, and she said that men should not bring up the idea of past relationships. girls view that as you still have feelings for them. if they ask tell them, but don't reminisce without them asking."

I think it also has a lot to do with how long the relationship has been going on for. I think that the longer it is the more you are both able to discuss things. I don't know sounds about right but as i learn more I'll definitely post. Just some food for thought.

SUIT UP!

It's been several weeks since i have written anything. I don't know why, just seems like i get inspire but then when it comes down to it I just don't have any motivation to write. It sucks since i love writing here so much because it is freeing. Well alright enough about that, this piece is a little different. Usually I wouldn't be blasting this out there but might as well. I am writing this to you as a different man, a man who no longer is twenty one but now I am officially twenty two!

YEP! That's right my birthday past on the 7th and i am now 22. I was dealing for a while with the fact I had a birthday coming, and that I was going to be 22, because once you get to 21 what other age is there really to look forward to? But I went into it with stride and it was a really fun day and a great birthday celebration just hanging with family that day and thats all I really wanted was time with my family. The comes my good buddy Jeremy who decides he is going to come up with an amazing idea and have he and i suit up.

Now for those of you who do not know How I Met Your Mother is one of my favorite shows and my friends favorite shows. We will quote it and make reference to episodes, scenarios, etc. Well he came up with a night of living out one character's adventures of Barney Stinson. He had begun with buying me a copy of the bro code, a book containing all of the rules and laws for bro's. We continued on to claim jumper which we suited up for and ended it with a round of laser tag while SUITED UP. It was one of those memorable birthdays that you tell the kids about!

It really was a great day and i am happy that I got so many wishes form friends and family and that i got to spend time with my friends and family too. It was great and I gotta say I look forward to more birthdays spent with friends and family.

This is your life

SO last night before going to bed i read an article (which Iw ill post a link to at the end) which gave me a sudden realization. The article talked about the writers sudden realization when holding his son one day that this was it. This was his life. Most of his had already passed by and suddenly he was at the awakening moment of his own mortality and that life had come full circle from the time he was a lad looking to his father now he was the father.

He had spoken of how he felt one day he would wake up and he'd know he was an adult, expecting it to come after graduating college, getting married or having a child. I had thought the same way. I always thought one day I would just simply get to the point to where i could say I'm an adult but now I realize that time is now. This is the definitive years, the years that shape our tomorrow. Soon I'll graduate and then what? I'll be standing there, diploma in hand and I'll realize it. This is it, this is me. I'll take another step out of a life I lived into a new one. Its scary to think about it.

I am thinking of what school I'll go for my graduate degree, of finding work, of saving money for future expense, etc. It's like its all finally happened and I am just aware of it now after waking up and realizing a great truth of some age old secret. I suppose I could sum it up as another lifetime has passed me and now I get to live a new one. SO here we go, lets see where htis one takes me as I develop even further.

http://artofmanliness.com/2011/03/20/what-man-understands-that-he-is-dying-daily-this-is-your-life/

This is your life and today is all you've got now
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have

-This Your Life by Switchfoot

Yeah. That about sums it up.

the end of peace

It was going well for so long. Sure there were ups and downs but those were the normal ones. then this morning it was all broken, seemed like all of it was undone. For some reason, today which began like most days, went wrong so fast. My brother decided he'd slip back into his old self. Slept all day, didn't help my mother with anything, talked about leaving and living on the street, etc. It takes a toll on my mother as she is frustrated and saddened by his words and lack of action. He was doing well but just today...I don't know.

Perhaps its the weather? yesterday I was in a mood of depression a bit before being cheered up but just...I don't know. Could have been an off day. I don't know what set him off but today just wasn't a good day. To make matters worse my own old self reared its head. The thoughts slipped back to the things I said I wouldn't do and I needed an outlet but had none. I felt like I needed to just relieve it all and be b

ad. Just one last time. But even now writing this I have that feeling still because there is just no getting rid of it till it runs its course.

All in all, its an off day. No one is happy, or pleased here. It sucks but I supposed thats the cards I was dealt for the day and just...man it sucks so much! I just wanna let go! just for a little bit but..no one, nothing to be evil with. Meh. Oh well. No tackling my bad self tonight.

Empty Burning

So yesterday in the midst of the ever so evil heat, as I ventured to some stores I realized something. I felt an incredible emptiness inside. I don't know why, I don't know where it came from I just felt like well bleh. Best way to describe it i felt unmotivated and felt just like sleeping away the day and just life in general. The heat was just taking my energy and i just felt empty after a while and like I had no one to turn to. I suppose it was merely just a momentary deal with depression but still, it sucked. So as the heat starts I can truly say, I miss the fall time.