Should've when you could've

So I was just enrolling for me next online courses for the semester when a thought occurred to me. How I wished I was still at my University instead of being kicked out I'd have used my time better. I'd have gotten up early to read my bible more, been involved in more campus things, gone to more lectures and chapels,etc. Then another thought came: why don't I do that now? What's stopping me from waking up early and spending my time with God in His word? What is keeping me from being involved in church functions (though having a car and my license would help but that's not the point) and going out and hearing speakers? Nothing is stopping me but myself.

Seem's I have been hindering myself lately, letting my flesh get the better of me as time goes on and frankly it is annoying. I fee so far, so lazy, so unmotivated. I had a long look at myself last week and I didn't like what I saw, where my true desires lie (that is another post altogether) and just...yeah. I want to change. Honestly, I'd rather be taking steps backwards than just standing here, like an idiot, not doing anything. Because if I a moving backwards at least I can fix it and move forwards. I don't like where I am at right now but I am working towards a goal of going where God wants me to go. I don't want it to be my will or to be here standing doing nothing nay longer. I want to get up and go.