With the New year comes a reinvigoration to get up and do something different. We make resolution son changing things for the better like, losing weight, reading more books, connecting with friends more, etc. I am no different as the New Year lit a fire in me to do better and be better. For instance, my health. I got a scare near the end of last year where my doctor wanted me to come in and talk to me about the results of my physical I had. I was nervous, thinking that he may have found something wrong with me or that I was dying. Nothing of the sort luckily, however, my cholesterol was a little bit higher than he liked. So it was off for me to start a new journey: healthier eating.
This was the sort of push I needed and really wanted to be more...adultlike. I find myself often seeing myself as still young and foolish when it comes to basically responsibility and pulling my head out of my butt. I mean at 30 I SHOULD have an idea of what it means to be an adult or rather, how to be better disciplined in being responsible. yeah, no such luck. However, the New Year brought me an invigoration of energy and resolve to push myself forward. With my health, my hygiene, my appearance, finances and most of all: my faith.
I wanted to get back to days that honestly I saw as brighter. I wanted to pray more, read my Bible more, grow deeper in my walk with the Lord and stop standing in shallow waters. I wanted to dive deep and experience, God. Well, easier said than done because I have zero clues what God wants me to do. Now it should be said I'm still working on daily devotions, prayer, and Bible reading. But before that during a New Year service, it seemed everyone had something to say to me as encouragement. My pastor, telling me to quit sitting and messing around and to go full in with my service in the church and a brother telling me that I need to lead. Lead what? Dive into where? I don't know!
Okay, not the total truth I have...ideas. I could lead a Bible Study but there's already one just up the street from me so not here but maybe take over or help teach one? I'd also like to try and lead a ministry? Get better connected? I don't know and it's frustrating! Gotta just focus and try and discern everything. Best bet is to pray about and seek God for the answer. Oh and patiently waiting. Man I hate patience.
Monday, January 20, 2020
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
2020: Structural integrity
Structural integrity is the ability of an item—either a structural component or a structure consisting of many components—to hold together under a load, including its own weight, without breaking or deforming excessively"
An interesting thought popped into my head thinking about going forward in this new year. I was thinking about all of the changes I wanted to make in myself and how I wanted to grow. The thought frightened me and I thought about how difficult it was going to be and how much work it would take to commit to all of the changes I wanted to make in my own life and grow as a person. Then I thought about prayer and trying to trust God through it and keep me stable. Then boom! The idea for the title struck and here we are!
It's a daunting thing really. Here I am, staring at this colossal wall that I have built of insecurities, fear, negative habits, and so many things I don't like about myself that I want to fix. Originally I wanted to say "I want to patch up this wall" but that won't do at all, will it? No, it's a big job, a lot of work, and you gotta start from the ground up. Tear down the old and begin anew. From it being about myself I want to get better to be a better servant to Christ, not just myself. That's the primary thing. Christ repairing the wall in me, building a new one, a new man. Covering up my weaknesses, fixing my flaws, destroying the bad parts.
I can be new. I can be different. I can do it. Not by my strength but by Christ's. I need to focus and rely on His strength and His will in my life. Not my own. I don't think there's anything wrong with certain parts I want to fix and go on to being better in areas I feel need work in. My laziness, my forgetfulness, my rampant procrastination. I can be different. I can be new again. I can be the man Christ intended me to be. I need Him as my strength, to lift me up and keep me strong. Not to buckle under the weight of life and things I give too much power too. I remember being told that "Being the same in public as you are in private". Well, I want that person to be in Christ and to be strong.
Christ be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes
Be the center of our lives"- "center" by Charlie Hall
An interesting thought popped into my head thinking about going forward in this new year. I was thinking about all of the changes I wanted to make in myself and how I wanted to grow. The thought frightened me and I thought about how difficult it was going to be and how much work it would take to commit to all of the changes I wanted to make in my own life and grow as a person. Then I thought about prayer and trying to trust God through it and keep me stable. Then boom! The idea for the title struck and here we are!
It's a daunting thing really. Here I am, staring at this colossal wall that I have built of insecurities, fear, negative habits, and so many things I don't like about myself that I want to fix. Originally I wanted to say "I want to patch up this wall" but that won't do at all, will it? No, it's a big job, a lot of work, and you gotta start from the ground up. Tear down the old and begin anew. From it being about myself I want to get better to be a better servant to Christ, not just myself. That's the primary thing. Christ repairing the wall in me, building a new one, a new man. Covering up my weaknesses, fixing my flaws, destroying the bad parts.
I can be new. I can be different. I can do it. Not by my strength but by Christ's. I need to focus and rely on His strength and His will in my life. Not my own. I don't think there's anything wrong with certain parts I want to fix and go on to being better in areas I feel need work in. My laziness, my forgetfulness, my rampant procrastination. I can be different. I can be new again. I can be the man Christ intended me to be. I need Him as my strength, to lift me up and keep me strong. Not to buckle under the weight of life and things I give too much power too. I remember being told that "Being the same in public as you are in private". Well, I want that person to be in Christ and to be strong.
Christ be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes
Be the center of our lives"- "center" by Charlie Hall
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