One of the stranger things I find myself being nostalgic for (other than Saturday morning cartoons) is who I used to be. I suppose THIS is what growing up and maturing really is. Looking at the world through the lens of reality instead of the embarrassingly romantic glasses I used to wear. Okay, occasionally I still put them on but I think I'm a bit more of a realist at this point in my life.
I often think of who I used to be years ago or the things I used to do. Like the guy that would go and sit at Starbucks to write and listen to music (that guy had poor time management) or the guy that was banking on bumping into the love of his life at some party or event and getting married (I am at the point where I've given up on relationships) and the guy that used to be happy. Okay, it's not that I'm NOT happy, it's that I find that I have changed in ways that leave me unsatisfied with the life I'm living now you know?
I think what I miss most was the freedom I had to be those people and growing older, taking on more responsibilities has stifled some of that. I feel like my creative juices are being stopped up and I have only enough time for a passing glance at being who I really am. Maybe that's what has gotten me so worked up to write tonight. I'm just stuck in this environment. But with being stuck I have had the chance to shift gears and pick up on my strengths and weaknesses. Maybe that's what maturity is all about, developing and becoming who you are. Wonder who I'll be at the end?
Well, this isn't entirely about that but a send-off of those people I used to be. Some parts are still left floating there but I'm entirely new. So hey, thanks for the memories guys, but those days are over and there is just the me I am now. Maybe I'll say bye someday to this me too? Guess I'll wait and see.
This has inspired me to go searching through some old stuff and see what I find! Time to take a stroll down memory lane!
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