Check, check, reality check.

So this past week, I'd have to say was horrible and was one of the worse weeks I have had in a long time. Other than being completely boring and bland, a lot of issues have come up. For starters I have tried enrolling in classes for the school I got into for online classes but it hasn't cleared me for it yet and so I am wondering if I had enrolled correctly for the online classes and haven't been able to call the school as they are located in Chicago and thus on a different time schedule. So when I try and call thinking I have made it in time I find that I have in fact not and thus have to keep pushing myself to call at the appropriate times on a different day. The classes start the 25 so I am in quite the pickle if I messed this up and i am praying i did not. So very lame.

Combine also this week that the reality check I needed is that I am so completely emotional unstable its not even funny. Seriously, I have such issues with my feelings for certain girls I am sure you could write a script to it for a TV drama. Jumping form one girl tot he next and the fluctuating emotions and just gah! So troublesome. Luckily God is obviously showing me that my thoughts of a relationship are obviously wrong and stupid for me to be thinking them since I cannot even deal with my own feelings. So lame.

Then there was an incident I posted earlier about a friend and I sort of crossing swords when we had an issue (an issue I now see where I was wrong in) and I was angry at her for a while. Which sucks because we are such close friends that being angry just didn't make sense and as soon as I see her I plan to apologize and fix the situation.

Another large issue is the fact that my mother has been under a severe amount of stress as she has been forced to travel back and forth to see my grandfather in the hospital after surgery to fix his hip when he broke it. Well this stress obviously is an issue and makes her tired and worst of all irritable. Which is the second part of this and her dislike for my elder sister as of late. Now when I say dislike I mean she is slamming cupboard doors, yelling at us (who have done nothing to deserve said yelling) and slamming doors. There is also the saying things out of anger as she does (this has caused both her and I to say things in the past that have more than likely left scars) and just yeah creating an uneasy atmosphere.

So home life has been no bueno and I dislike this greatly. This week has completely blown and the only thing left to save it is tomorrow (Sunday) which is church. I pray the Lord gives me peace at church cause I sure as heck do not have it here. Which sucks because its home and your home should be a nice place to escape from other forms of hell but nope mine is my own personal hell.

Other than this the Lord has been teaching me thing as of late. The fact that no, I do not need a relationship, that I was wrong in my anger with my friend, some patience and a good old reality check. I definitely need to change some aspects as well in my character and personality that I figured need to be changed and do a total transformation and building up. But such is life. Here is hoping everyone else's is going better than mine right now. If it wasn't for God and the fact that this will eventually pass I think I'd go crazy.

What's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

In the Light-DC TALK