I dunno, I kind of have come to the conclusion that I have to change some aspects of myself. I am not the party type but I have gone off and enjoyed some things such as hookah or even drinking with friends at one time or another and I feel that its gotten old fast and its only really just begun. I feel as if inside is something telling me to quit these things as if they're a lost cause of sorts. This stems from my seeing pictures of some friends going out and having fun at a hookah bar and I don't know but I felt emotional about it. I have no clue why but I just I can't even describe how I feel but its just i don't know. It seems so empty now from when I had done it the few times before. Like something is saying "no, you don't need that" or "it's time to quit that stuff". Its weird the way I am feeling.
Honestly I am not judging anyone because I mean I have done it too so why should i judge? Nor am I seeking a pat on the back or a "well done for getting away form that." Perhaps I am simply doing what is required of me, like that I am supposed to do in the first place? I have no idea. Maybe more will come to me later, maybe not. I just felt like sharing.
Your real, new self will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him-C.S. Lewis
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