Forgiveness

Its a funny thing. I think there are two people in my life I could look at and say "No I do not forgive you for what you have done." That is what I would have said before but now...I don't know. There have been incidents which have allowed me to change my opinion of these two people. First off was one day in church when we were going to take communion. The Lord spoke to my heart and my spirit was grieved when I realized I held hatred for these two. So God told me that if I wanted to take communion I'd have to forgive them. That was step 1. Step 2 was interactions with the two people which has led me to where I am at right now.

One of them is my ex girlfriend who, by means of text messaging, broke up with me. From a different state, Alaska to be more precise. So that right there would leave a bitter taste in my mouth and some pain in my heart. Well she was one of the people who I had held feeling of hate and bitterness for. I actually had messaged her and explained in a long and lengthy message how I had felt and all of that lovely stuff. Now it didn't happen overnight I still felt somewhat nervous and uptight around her during these times. Of course I did I just asked for forgiveness but still getting used to the idea takes time. And honestly i do find myself wanting to spend time with her, granted it is FRIEND time as I have no interest in a relationship just to clear that up.

Now the second person, a former best friend, that is a little tricker. He and I were very close friends and through circumstances and events we stopped hanging out/calling each other and texting. We just sort of floated through life occasionally meeting when unfortunately drama raised its ugly head. The main reason is because I could never understand why he always made the same mistake over and over and over. Every single time. Even when I was convinced he had changed once he had disappointed me and had done the same thing again. There are so many details here I cannot express this to get the reaction you should have in hearing that I am forgiving him and everything. All that you should know is he had hurt a lot of people, many important to me and this is what had led to this. Well tonight as I write this I decided, why not? Why not give it a shot at friendship? In honesty I had pondered this several times while falling asleep. So I plan to walk up and talk to him and apologize to him.

Honestly I never thought I'd be here, letting these two people back in my life. I always assumed we'd just go our separate ways and just yeah. So I plan to let them back in more and more, repair friendships. It took a long time but this is where its come to, after so long. I have had a continual thought and that is, if I'm supposed to be like Christ, and Christ forgives then shouldn't I forgive them and everyone else?