I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.
-GALATIANS 2:20
Beforehand i talked about comparison being the thief of joy and about living my life by Christ and the situations in it. I never imagined I'd be tying these two together. Anyways, I have been comparing my life by my own standards. Putting side by side others lives and imagining how my life SHOULD be by my own standards. Because I tried laying down the standards of my life by my own will, I was never satisfied by how things turned out. I tried living life by what I thought was best but hadn't been living my life by what God KNEW was best.
Let me tell you it is utterly frustrating to me, as a human, to try and even conceive that I don't know what's best for myself. In all honesty it is rooted in my arrogance and pride that is slowly being revealed to me by God. I mean man God reveals a bit to em about life and suddenly I'm thinking that I'm going to be the next Billy Graham or something! I start tweaking God's plan with some of my own desires and wants. I mean who doesn't know me better than myself right? Oh wait, God does.
In the end what it comes down to is denial. Denying myself, my wants, my desires. I gotta change and the only way to do that is to move closer to God. To die to all those desires, my wants, my strengths and accept that the only strength I have and need is Jesus.
"When my life disagrees with the Word of God, I want to say, 'This Word is true, and I must change.'"
-Joshua Harris
Saturday, August 17, 2013
The Life Lived
"I don't need everyone to hear me say I'm a Christian but I need everyone to see Christ in me."
Man I got humbled by that right there when I first read it. Often times I think of sharing my faith as me saying "I'm a Christian!" and wait for people to flock to me with questions, criticisms and the sort. But the situation never rises and nothing is ever said and it's almost frustrating because I want to throw my hands up and go "doesn't anyone care?!". But man now? Now I realize it.
It's not about me being a Christian and saying it to other people, it's about showing Christ's light to the world. How selfish have i become that I dare think it matters about me? What matter's is Christ and the life I live in Christ. Actions speak louder than words right? many of the testimony's I hear about how they saw how someones life was different than theirs because of God. Instead of the other person going about saying they were a Christian, they lived it.
Man I got humbled by that right there when I first read it. Often times I think of sharing my faith as me saying "I'm a Christian!" and wait for people to flock to me with questions, criticisms and the sort. But the situation never rises and nothing is ever said and it's almost frustrating because I want to throw my hands up and go "doesn't anyone care?!". But man now? Now I realize it.
It's not about me being a Christian and saying it to other people, it's about showing Christ's light to the world. How selfish have i become that I dare think it matters about me? What matter's is Christ and the life I live in Christ. Actions speak louder than words right? many of the testimony's I hear about how they saw how someones life was different than theirs because of God. Instead of the other person going about saying they were a Christian, they lived it.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Feelings from the past
Wrote this a few weeks ago:
So this morning as i was on a walk, feeling sorry for myself as i am prone to doing, i found my mind wandering. The morning reminded me of a day where when i was in school i might be waking up, heading off to chapel or breakfast, then class and seeing friends and it just reminded me of the past. Then the voices came.
You’re a failure
You got kicked out
They graduated and got on with their lives and where are you at?
The same thoughts that have plagued me for so long. But then another voice popped up saying “you do realize you couldn’t stay there forever right? ". That’s when it hit me. The realization. I COULDN’T stay at college or with my friends there forever. We have our lives, our purposes, goals and such. Even if i had graduated with them i think it would have been the same. I’d have still missed them and the old times.
It’s the past. And I’ve spent too much time dwelling on it. It hasn’t motivated me and I’ve barely learned from it. Well it’s about time I did. So i guess this is growing up?
Giants, storms and mountains
Life has taken turns that I dislike. It hasn't gone the way i desired and it sucks. But sitting down and remembering why i made this blog and what it reminds me of, it helps me realize some things. IN life we, like David before he became king, face giants. David didn't focus on giants though. Focusing on the giants get's you nowhere but full of fear and wondering where the nearest escape is. Staring the giants down will rob you of any victory you could have. Focusing on God though, man that'll give you the strength you need!! David didn't rely on anything, he KNEW God was there, and had his back.
Like Peter we need to keep our eyes on Jesus, not on our storms and believe me I am in the middle of a maelstrom it feels like. But the Lord called out to Peter and Peter went but as soon as Peter looked away he began sinking. I've been sinking. I put Christ on the back burner and tried using my human mind to cope and grasp at the empty air around me as I sank. Instead of reaching forward and looking Christ in the eyes and saying, KNOWING, He was all i ever needed.
Then there's the mountains. Giant, stone monuments that seem impregnable and unable to pass through. It's vast and humongous and easy to get lost amongst them. Yet Jesus gave you a promise. Faith the size of a mustard seed and you can look at a mountain pretty much say "away with you!". That of course is not because of you but because of God. Because what is any situation (this is the meaning behind mountain) before the Lord God? Faith in the God of creation itself and nothing stands up that comes against you.
There's a lot in life that happens that get's you down, depressed, sad, angry and so many other negative things, believe me I know I've been there. The only thing that got me through those times was God's promises.
Like Peter we need to keep our eyes on Jesus, not on our storms and believe me I am in the middle of a maelstrom it feels like. But the Lord called out to Peter and Peter went but as soon as Peter looked away he began sinking. I've been sinking. I put Christ on the back burner and tried using my human mind to cope and grasp at the empty air around me as I sank. Instead of reaching forward and looking Christ in the eyes and saying, KNOWING, He was all i ever needed.
Then there's the mountains. Giant, stone monuments that seem impregnable and unable to pass through. It's vast and humongous and easy to get lost amongst them. Yet Jesus gave you a promise. Faith the size of a mustard seed and you can look at a mountain pretty much say "away with you!". That of course is not because of you but because of God. Because what is any situation (this is the meaning behind mountain) before the Lord God? Faith in the God of creation itself and nothing stands up that comes against you.
There's a lot in life that happens that get's you down, depressed, sad, angry and so many other negative things, believe me I know I've been there. The only thing that got me through those times was God's promises.
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?
-NUMBERS 23:19
This verse has been playing in my head over and over for a while now and it's honestly what's gotten me through some tough times. Relying on God and His promises. Not the whisperings of my mind or the situations that seem so daunting and like they're weighing me down. My God is the victor. What have I to fear? Thus continues my development.
Stealing from yourself
They say comparison is the thief of joy. Oh how true I have learned this statement is. My life hasn't exactly turned out the way I planned it. I got kicked out of school, I'm still living at home and haven't made any headway in my plans. This obviously depresses me. I often look at the adventures and lives my friends have and I yearn to be free like that. It was me thinking of this one day that brought me to a discovery: I've been down and out lately because I've been comparing my life to others.
Heck, I'll admit it, I've been COVETING and LUSTING after the lives of others around me. I've rarely been content with life as of late. I've spent more time WISHING for things to happen or to do something than enjoying what I do have. I went from "God will show me what comes next" to "man I gotta get out of here and get on with my life and do or y". I went from wanting what God had for me to wanting ANYTHING that was out there for me.
All of this has been a poison to me, leading me to try and solve things for myself and pursue empty things. Now it's not wrong to desire BETTER things, but I've just wanted less responsibility, more fun and great adventures. Heck, how do I even know the lives of those around me? It looks easy but that's me looking through a pinhole instead of through the entire scope of their lives. Maybe some of them think "boy I wish I had it easy like Robert!".
Has God got something for me? Yes, he does. Sadly i suffer form impatience. I have grown impatient and so i go looking around instead of looking to God and what he has. I haven't appreciated what he's given me either. I've taken it for granted and it took me a long time to figure it out.
At this point my best bet is to wait on God and for what he has. Are there some things I want i can go and do? Sure, that's on me to get off my butt and do it though. Comparing my life to others hasn't gotten me anywhere except to the land of "you're an idiot for not realizing it sooner Robert".
Heck, I'll admit it, I've been COVETING and LUSTING after the lives of others around me. I've rarely been content with life as of late. I've spent more time WISHING for things to happen or to do something than enjoying what I do have. I went from "God will show me what comes next" to "man I gotta get out of here and get on with my life and do or y". I went from wanting what God had for me to wanting ANYTHING that was out there for me.
All of this has been a poison to me, leading me to try and solve things for myself and pursue empty things. Now it's not wrong to desire BETTER things, but I've just wanted less responsibility, more fun and great adventures. Heck, how do I even know the lives of those around me? It looks easy but that's me looking through a pinhole instead of through the entire scope of their lives. Maybe some of them think "boy I wish I had it easy like Robert!".
Has God got something for me? Yes, he does. Sadly i suffer form impatience. I have grown impatient and so i go looking around instead of looking to God and what he has. I haven't appreciated what he's given me either. I've taken it for granted and it took me a long time to figure it out.
At this point my best bet is to wait on God and for what he has. Are there some things I want i can go and do? Sure, that's on me to get off my butt and do it though. Comparing my life to others hasn't gotten me anywhere except to the land of "you're an idiot for not realizing it sooner Robert".
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