Why is a raven like a writing desk?

I wonder about myself sometimes. What makes me go into these sudden emotional roller-coasters at night? is it because I have no one to entertain or distract me? The music I play, or the way my thought just eventually go? Let's go with that. I am not sure why I focus so much on relationships. Especially my almost relationship recently. There are so many conflicts inside me. I wish...I don't know. I wish for something. Attention? Well yes that is to be expected since I finally texted her today and got no response back at all. Ugh man I am lame. My brain is working against me too. It whispers about moving on, forgetting her because she isn't interested and such but i have no clue. i won't listen obviously but its just. I don't know. I want someone to love me. I want someone to look square in the eye and say "I'm sorry but I'm in pieces and emotionally broken. Please help pick up the pieces with me hun". I wish it was fall time again. Its so much more enjoyable, its cool, you can get under the covers and enjoy a nice cup of tea. Not like this heat in summer that drives the mind, body and all your sense mad. It's not cool at all. To top it all off I discovered my greatest fear today. Due to my grades I won't be returning to my school. I have been on probation for a while and a couple of professors really screwed me over this semester since one made everything worth more since he threw out all the quizzes and I was honest on the reading log, another professor despite my doing well on all but 2 quizzes and the midterm gave me a D-. Lame epic fail and just gah! Its stressful. Haven't told the parentals yet. That will be fun. Lectures, yelling, and probably mean words. *sigh* I think its time I grew up, learned some discipline finally and become and adult. Utilizing time, being responsible, motivated, and everything else that goes will the word adult. Basically a heck of a lot more mature than I am. Life is changing fast and I need to get on board.