Maintaining Conscienceness

"Man always wants what he cannot have". I have heard these words used a few times in my life and I am only realizing now how true they are. By all rights we as human being should and usually do know when something is accessible, when it is truly able to be grasped. In fact I am sure we do know the difference between the accessible and non-accessible. My own experience in this (we shall talk of this later on) proves the point of it. Well more often tan not we are torn in two when these moments come and we are at a crossroads. We have our angel and our devil on their own respective shoulder telling us what to do. Each is out for what they believe to be in our best interest. Well which do you choose?

Because it, unfortunately, happens. We encounter something we want and we become consumed by it. Have you noticed that? Think back to something you wanted badly. It

consumed us, became all we cared about. It became our motivation, our will to live, it became our everything. We were or maybe even might be still owned by it.

Okay now stop. Let's draw back and get rid of the angel and devil. Now let's look at it in how it usually is. Its a storm inside of us. A decision has to be made and despite the logic you tell yourself you still feel the urge to go ahead. Its consuming you like I said and you don't wan to let it go. If I explained it all I am sure there would be those who would say go for it and those who would hate me. For the longest time i heard the voice inside saying to go for it until I was finally stopped by the right voice that said to give it all up.

But that is all I got from the voice. I got exactly what I needed to hear. Often I have called it self control but in fact its my conscience that always kept me form being stupid and doing stupid things. I got used to it that I suppose I ignored it for a while until boom my devil side decided to voice his opinion. yeah, truthfully I did listen to him a few times and those times were great right? Then why do I feel like crap deep down in a situation where I should feel joy? Well that's cause I shouldn't have been there plain and simple! But in truth it was not my self control (okay well a bit of it was) but my conscience always telling me from behind the thin veil of the dark conscience "Get the crap out of there now!'

I suppose its strange I am talking about this but I fee as if I am only just now discovering my conscience after so long of a absence. I wrote this because of a situation I dug myself in where I want what cannot have and despite that I feel I should do something about it even though its clear I should not. So now after an intervention form the good side I am trying to fix the mess I made inside of me. Leave it to us humans to just screw everything.